Herb This » Garden Humor

September Garden Humor

Sheryl — Sun, 30 Sep 2012 10:00:17 +0000

I know, I’ve been MIA lately. I have a few excuses, but none that can validate me completely losing touch for so long. I haven’t even been to the garden since my last post (THAT is the really bad part!). Here are TWO jokes to try to rectify the situation:

Q. Why did the Golden Delicious go to jail?

A. He was a rotten apple.

Q: What do you get when you mix a relative and a fruit?

A: A Granny Smith

Ok, I think these are a little weak, but they are both about apples, and you pick apples in the fall, and it’s fall now. So there.

Happy Fall! Happy October! I know gardening season is just about wrapping up, but I love this weather and it makes me happy. That is all for today.

August Garden Humor

Sheryl — Fri, 31 Aug 2012 10:00:05 +0000

It’s almost fall… that makes me happy! It’s also almost the first frost and the end of garden season… that makes me sad! Oh well…I guess I can start planning for next year soon!

Q: Why did the gardener need a cork?

A: His garden sprung a leek.

HAHAHA! Our leeks are just about ready to be pulled. I’m very much looking forward to trying those this year!

July Garden Humor

Sheryl — Tue, 31 Jul 2012 10:00:15 +0000

In honor of one of our best garden producers (and my stomach, which in the past has caused me problems):

What vegetable can tie your stomach in knots?
String beans!

Haha! Happy August!

June Garden Humor

Sheryl — Sat, 30 Jun 2012 10:00:24 +0000

My trowel has become one of my most useful garden tools…therefore:

New gardeners learn by by trowel and error.

SO TRUE! Holy crap, it’s July tomorrow! Where has the time gone?

May Garden Humor

Sheryl — Thu, 31 May 2012 10:00:59 +0000

Did you seriously think I’d give up on this? Never! In honor of my home state of NJ, inspiration to The Sopranos, I share with you the following joke:

An old Italian man lived alone in the country. It was Spring and he wanted to dig his tomato garden, as he had done every year, but it was very hard work for the aging man as the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was currently in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:

Dear Vincent,
I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If only you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me.

Love, Dad

A few days later he received a letter from his son:

Dear Dad,
Not for nothing, but don’t dig up that garden. That’s where I buried the BODIES.
Love, Vinnie

At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived at the old man’s house and dug up the entire area. However, they didn’t find any bodies, so they apologized to the old man and left.

That same day the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Dad,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That’s the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love, Vinnie

Hahahah! Happy June!

April Garden Humor

Sheryl — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 13:00:00 +0000

It’s that time again already? Here is a very timely joke to say good-bye to April!

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?

Pilgrims.

HAHAHAHA!

March Garden Humor

Sheryl — Sat, 31 Mar 2012 10:00:42 +0000

Wow! I’ve had this site up for a month already. To celebrate, I am starting a new ‘series’. I love silly jokes — the cornier the better, and who doesn’t love a little garden humor? I think a Gardening Joke of the Month is going to become a necessity on the last day of the month. The first joke combines my super nerdy side with my gardening side (or maybe they are the same side?). Either way…

What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?

Pumpkin pi!

HAHAHAHA! (for the record, I did not think of this. I’m not that clever.)